I Wish I Were in Love Again
by Selene Antilles
Summary: A little Huddy songfic from Cuddy's POV. Some college, some donors, some revelations!


Disclaimer: I don't own House and the song is 'I Wish I Were in Love Again' by Tony Bennett.

A/N: This song just felt so perfectly Huddy...

**I Wish I Were in Love Again**

**The sleepless nights - the daily fights  
The quick toboggan - when you reach the heights  
I miss the kisses - and I miss the bites  
I wish I were in love again  
**

He's not the most romantic lover – in fact, he probably falls under the category of lost cause when it comes

to love and romance. How do I know this, you ask? Because all those years ago, back when the bands he

likes were popular, (oh god, I'm dating myself), he was _mine_. Okay, maybe not _all_ mine. But I think it

stands to scrutiny by judge and jury that we were in love.

**  
The broken dates - the endless waits  
The lovely loving - and the hateful hates  
The conversation - with the flying plates  
I wish I were in love again  
**

I can't count all the times he broke a date with me. I sat in _Rigantoni's _for about four hours before the

waiter delicately kicked me out. When we actually found the time between classes and work and the

rest of our lives to be together, we spent about half our time in bed, on the couch, on the kitchen table,

on the ironing board, (he decided to test out a theory), and any other flat surface. There were the brief

reprieves of romantic candlelit dinners with three courses of Chinese takeout and the nights curled up

against his chest watching Wrestlemania. (Like I said, he's not the most romantic lover.) The remaining

almost-half of the time, however, was spent yelling, kicking, shouting, screaming and, yes, throwing.

I will deny it like there's no tomorrow, but I did throw a plate at him once.

**  
No more pain - no more strain  
Now I'm sane - but I would rather be punch - drunk  
The pulled out fur - of cat and cur  
The fine mismating - of a him and her  
I've learned my lesson - but I wish I were  
In love again  
**

I've discovered recently, though, that I preferred those days of lovemaking and takeout to the hectic and

harried life of a Dean of Medicine. The only times I see him now are when he wants to do something

illegal or when he's done something flat-out stupid and ends up in the hospital himself. We're a

mismatched pair, possibly because I have morals and he doesn't, but I wish I were in love again.

**  
The furtive sigh - the blackened eye  
The words: "I love you - 'til the day I die"  
The self deception - that believes the lie  
I wish I were in love again  
**

The self-deception. That was me. I knew he would leave; I knew he probably didn't even love me. But

the words were so lovely when he whispered them in my ear, husky and low. My brain would shut down,

I'd sigh and forget all my troubles and cares. And the black eye I had because he opened the door

before finding out if I was behind it or not.

**  
When love congeals - it soon reveals  
The faint aroma - of performing seals  
The double-crossing - of a pair of heels  
I wish I were in love again  
No, no more care - no, no despair  
Now I'm all there (now) - but I'd rather be punchdrunk**

We tricked each other and pretended and lied but does that mean we loved each other less? I think not.

And I would rather be drowning in that bottle of vodka he keeps on the top shelf of the medicine cabinet

in the bathroom than give up the double-crosses and the little white lies. And I do love it when he makes

comments about my heels. Because I know the song and I know he doesn't just like the stilettos and the

pumps; I know he likes the double meaning as well. We're really just a pair of heels and if that means

he gets to admire my legs, so be it. At least he remembers those days as well as I do.

**  
Believe me sir - I much prefer  
The classic battle - of a him and her  
I don't like quiet - and I wish I were  
In love again - in love again - in love again **

"I'm sorry, Mr-" I glanced down at the file in front of me, "Albertson. But I just can't. I-"

"You're in love again," he said, as though the metaphorical lightbulb had been switched on. I stared at

him, eyes wide.

"You and I went to college together, you know. And back then you were in love. Madly, deeply in love

with that jerk, Greg House. I know, because I asked you out back then, too. Don't look at me like that.

I really do want to donate money to the hospital."

Now I remembered him. He was that sweet kid that always sat next to me at Greg's lacrosse games. Greg?  
When did I start calling him Greg?

"And correct me if I'm wrong, but that same jerk is about to rudely march into your office."

I jumped when Greg stormed into my office without so much as knock – right on cue. I glanced to Mr.

What's-His-Name and he gestured to the mirror on the table behind my desk.

"Oh Cuddles! Time for you-know-what!"

I rolled my eyes, but had to hide a grin. I don't think I was fast enough for my impromptu shrink, however.

He winked at me, grinned and politely excused himself. Leaving me all alone with-

By the butterflies in my stomach as he leaned across me, his breath hot on my neck, maybe the lacrosse

kid was right.

_Please review!_


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